and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I will pee on everything he values.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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