Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
