Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
