so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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