plz talk dirty to me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize