Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
