I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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