when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
