Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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