you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
