mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Rumble strips road head = magical
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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