i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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