Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
