you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's just like the Real World with babies
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize