with your own penis?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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