pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
