Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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