the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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