HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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