if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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