Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
