We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
