she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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