I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
