My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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