New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
