Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
