Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
