if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
