so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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