Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
