Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
