I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
