It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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