i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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