Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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