i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
They took my balls.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
