idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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