morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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