I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
