I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize