okay pat passed out under dana's car
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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