why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
