You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
