Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
