OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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