You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
