they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
