Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
