people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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