He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize