You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
