I haven't been this sober since birth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
