its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
