Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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