one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
