i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize