remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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