You can't motorboat a personality
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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